- a girl named onix tadikichi sits down at the kitchen,her life passes before her eyes as she inhaled the darkness,the walls closed in on her as she rushed to the stairs to her room,the stairs seemed to be going further every time she took a step! she crashes into the couch as she gets dizzy,and she asks herself "why me?" as her mom tells her shes going to school this year....
- by Kishin_Mistress |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 12/29/2008 |
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- Title: death by school
- Artist: Kishin_Mistress
- Description: this is about a girl who hates school so muchsshe sees things
- Date: 12/29/2008
- Tags: poetry insanity
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Daddys Little Vamp14 - 10/03/2009
- um....i kinda have 2 agree with him. it needs a little bit of help. it was a good try though.
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- ProfessorKC - 08/26/2009
- <sigh> ... no ... check out the Forums on How to write poetry ... you'll see much of what this needs in way of correcting. Spacing, meter, rhyme scheme, imagery, everything pretty much ... but it'll help you.
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- Kishin_Mistress - 07/12/2009
- happy!i switched them so that its in teh rite place!
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- Lackadaisyal - 07/12/2009
- Quite terrible from what I read in the description.
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- angel of fortune - 07/10/2009
- gah , *clearse throat* a hahaha *cough* a ha *cough* "god im dyin" a hahaha *splutter* a kah ha haha mog HAHAHA!!!! thast not a poem && why are the poem && description wrong way round. O yea whats wrong wiv going 2 school i go nearly everyday geez??? O god thats was funny ha hmmm BYES BYES
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- Gaysey - 07/08/2009
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Did u put the poem in the Description spot?
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- cool-punker_chan - 07/06/2009
- i go with mellaroon-.......btw it could use a little more umph..but it's really good
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