• As young a life as I am living I can't help but to feel that I've gone as far as I can with it. That I feel I've already experienced all that life has to offer - the sun, the moon, the sky. That I've felt the extremity of every emotion in the book and every horrid mixture of emotion the mind can offer - of great life and great death.
    My lust for life has dwindle, life to me now is so unsatisfactory and disappointing. I thought this life was to be a great gift bestowed upon my lucky little soul - to experience all - good and bad, beauty and filth, containment and freedom, (and more) - but I've used the 'Clair's' to experience the world unvisited I feel nothing more is to be felt, nothing is worth the time, nothing is worth the ache, that this life is not worth living.
    I feel I have seen all the great beauty and destruction, I have interacted with people of great kindness and great cruelty; I feel I have felt all the heat and beat of every aspect of every sun and the kiss and wisp of every moon - And for that which I have not myself experience I have imagined with extremely vague detail - touch, taste, smell, hear, sense, emotion and so on and so forth - so much realness to my imagination it brings me to tears to know of such beauty and disgust in the world and in my mind and that my mind can fathom such things.

    There is nothing left of this gift to be given.

    This gift is no longer something children would come running and screaming down the stairs for at Christmas time - tripping over themselves trying to be the first one to the tree to open their gift. The excitement and joy running through them as they try to figure it out as they rip off the paper.

    This gift is now like a chore - No longer are you excited for your gift at Christmas when you find out it is a gift from a cheap Dollar Store. That it's worth is next to nothing - that the feeling and thought put into it by your family is almost meaningless almost rude - even laughable.

    ...But because it is from your family - you must act happy and content with it - you must find meaning and use for it, even if you only use it once... you want your family to see that you did something good with your lousy gift at least once - to prove that it was still a good gift even though at heart you didn't like... you don't want to let them down.

    (In case you haven't realised; This is a take on society - how it treats you - what you give in return- the 'gift of life' - ect.)


    I'm not saying this from a place of sadness/depression/hopelessness or anger, this comes from a place of knowing and understanding that nothing matters, there is no point or purpose for life/existing except for that which you give yourself everyday.

    (A perfect example of an Anhedoniac in the bottom picture. An Anhedoniac wins the 1st place gold medal at the World Olympics and is not excited or caring at all - feels nothing.)