• First of All Let me start of with the fact that I'm Listening to a certain song while writing this. The Girl Whom I was dating (if only for a short while) was a fan of kingdom hearts. It wasn't something I'm particularly a fan of but the music is beautiful, especially this song called "Dearly Beloved" In a way I'll consider it a tribute to her, who may very well be turned into a memory unforgotten.

    It was a short period of time that we went out, but one I certainly won't forget. Some of you may know that when it comes to a relationship, time is no longer an obstacle. It may not always be the miracle of "Love at First Sight" But we all know things develop at their own pace, some people could take a day to get married and others can take a life time to finally place the ring.

    This girl I met here on gaia, I swear was a godsend; we may not have even gotten to know each other that well given that we only coupled up for a period of two weeks, but to me that was like an eternity of company; a pleasant Voice to turn to for a little light on a dim day.

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had a tough life, we all have problems, stress, grievances, and annoyances; I'm certain though that some of you out there can agree with me though, that even if the world is breaking down around you, if there's one person you love next to you talking about things you aren't even paying attention to, all those troubles melt away.; and that's what this was for me, an ample escape from the hardship of each day.

    I'll give you an example from my life in a very brief description: I'm 18 and I'm working very, very hard. I work several jobs to get the money necessary to house my mother, sister, and my niece whom all need a place to stay. None of them are working, my mother has very severe relationship problems with a man who's name I daresay fills my heart with hatred whenever it's mentioned. My sister is a complete bum, glutton, and all around greedy woman. She's a mother of a 20 month year old daughter who is a terror in the house.
    If you put this all together it makes for one heck of a complaint for my neighbors to tell the apartment managers. I've gotten eviction threats and I'm actually two months behind on rent. I work a total of three jobs and I get an average of 3-6 hours of sleep per day, usually less given I have to occasionally babysit.

    In addition to all of that, I'm someone who has never gotten the chance to earn many friends to speak to and even less of an opportunity to meet a nice girl. You might ask where in my schedule I found the time to meet someone online, but I only recently picked up that third job. So, anyway, when you live with the lifestyle I do, which sadly more people than you think do, you take the time to stay up and reach out for that one lucky break. I managed to do this here on Gaia.

    I'll tell you, I used to really question the idea of idea of love online, especially on a site Like this, I didn't see how it could work. I started playing around on here, fortunetly I managed to rid my self of "noob" status very quickly thanks to a semi-rich friend and zOMG. I started enjoying my time in towns meeting new people who had some similar interests in things and anime. I even got to advertise an abridged series of Death Note that I'm making with one of my only friends. It was nice but in my real world it wasn't enough to keep me online for more than ten to fifteen minutes. Then fortune struck, In what I thought was going to be a defense mission I found someone cosplaying as yoruichi(I'm a bleach fan) talking about some girl who was being a b***h and calling herself "Miss perfect," Thinking it was a golden opportunity I stepped in only after sing this statement saying that I was "Mr.perfect" as a joke. Thinking I could mess with whomever It was being a b***h, I had the cosplayer introduce me.
    Right from the moment I saw her, I thought the avatar was amazing in it's own right; now I can't honestly say an avatar is attractive I mean we all know that they're just characters, but this one left an impression on me. After joking around for a few moments saying dorky things like "Hello I am Mr. Perfect," or "I'm stealing your spotlight," I noticed we actually shared a sense of humor. Somehow it lead to use owning each other and other fun things and we ended up in a relationship.

    At first I have to say, I put up a front, I wouldn't agree to get in a "Loving" relationship, or be flirty, but eventually when I found out certain amazing things were common interests, I felt I wanted to marry this girl. In My desolation in life I've watched Tv shows no one else has, played games no one plays, watched movies unknown to anyone, and listen to bands almost no one has ever heard of, this girl however had, and even more she liked all of them too, nearly as much as I did.

    My heart skipped a beat when I learned this, I thought "Oh my god.....I'm in love." Now this moment in itself, was like an epiphany, I found that Light at the end of a hard day, the one that you can take with you when you sign off, and go to sleep feeling happy, one where you talked about something dorky and you end up giggling about it when you try to go to sleep.

    I was amazed. I literally couldn't believe my luck. I'm someone who never believed something like this could happen and here I was personally turned into one through an experience online. She was someone who put up with my idiocy, liked my jokes, and didn't mind some of the more vulgar things I said.

    Now This was fun and all but like the tittle said, it's a tragedy in it's own. There was a point a little while ago where one of my checks stopped coming in, so I had to pick up a job. I started working from 10 pm to 4 am as a part time job all week to pick up the loss of income.
    Sadly this overlaps the time we usually get together to talk. I'll be honest, it was all ready hard enough to talk to this girl, There's a 2 hour difference between us so I end up losing sleep just to talk with her. She gets on at 9, I get on at 11, we talk for several hours and suddenly it's 2 am. I couldn't do that anymore so we didn't talk for a week or two.
    Now this is a girl who like me understands that some things cannot be helped, and it's one thing that made me love her more. that in itself is something hard to find. Today though I came back online hoping to get a bit of that warm light before I sleep seeming as how tomorrow I have the day off, I found I had one message in my inbox from her sister saying that so-and-so started going after her, and since I haven't been on she's started falling hard for him, also that I should probably just let it go and not even bother them. I'll be honest I didn't second guess accepting that option. I really honestly felt that given my situation It would be best for both of us, so I agreed but I still wanted to be friend, really really badly given that, you know, she likes everything I do. So I want to hear this from her or talk to her about it and I find out I can't send a comment. I thought "oh she must have done something to her profile," so I decided to send a message and I found out I was blocked. Thats what hurt me, it wasn't the fact that she decided someone more active might be better, it was the fact that instead of giving me a reason herself, or even allowing a chance for me to say something was taken away without a second thought. It hurt beyond belief that someone I got along with so well would just Cut me off.

    I've tried to give excuses to myself that maybe someone got onto her profile and did it, or something of that sort, but either way It just felt cruel. I understand that, that seems to be the popular method these days and obviously the easiest for online breakups. But I don't see how you can ever hope for closure when you just cut the other side off. It's cowardly.

    I understand I wasn't the most talkative guy, or the most interesting one, I understand every reason and accept them, but to not even be told is just ripping me to pieces. Instead of what could have become closure or a good friendship I got a gaping hole left over, black and empty forever sucking in the warmth around it.

    So I'm going to do two things ending this story plus one more just for me.
    first I'm going to warn everyone reading this that cruel things do happen when you least expect them, there's always a reason and although you may think you're smart enough to figure out you'll do more damage to yourself wondering what one is; You'll still wonder and you'll still hurt, don't get involved unless you're prepared.

    Second, I'm going to encourage you all, you have my support in your online love, Gaia is a huge and wonderful place, theres plenty to be both said and unsaid and there's a lot of dorky costumes out there you can put on and get a laugh out of the one you love. So good Luck and Good blessing,

    So good bye to all you readers, Thanks for the view.


    I love you ally, even if I always tried to lighten my words this phrase is set in stone. you'll be in my heart always and forever, thanks for the warmth at night. heart
    p.s Good Luck with your dancing, maybe we'll do the tango one day and you won't even know it.