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Unseen- Obsess- Choice- Decision
Unseen ... Before ... Does He see me? Of course not. He never sees me. Even though I stare at Him every chance I get, and I whisper “I love you” to Him whenever I pass Him in the hallway. I wish He would notice me. Maybe say 'hi' to me, just once. I would love that. But He never will. He doesn't feel the way I do. He doesn't like me. When I'm alone, I pass Him, and He's with His friends, they tease me. They know I love Him.
Obsess ... Later ... I don't think about anyone else. I can't. In the morning, when He comes into school, I become entranced by Him. My friends tease me about that too, but they're bearable. My friends don't haunt me, and snicker. I can't stop seeing Him in my mind. He's so beautiful. His hair is a light dusty brown. His eyes are darker. His voice is hard, but in my mind, it sounds like a country song. All my friends say I'm so crazy, because He's short for our age, and they don't think He's so radiant like I do. Everything about Him makes Him shine brighter to me. My friends are always telling me that I obsess over Him. I always blush and look down when His name is mentioned.
Choice ... Present ... I've broken my record. I finally like someone else. That I might actually have a chance with. I've never really been into dating. I've been single since spring break, last year. All the time since then, I've liked Him. But now, there's someone else. Someone almost just as brilliant. His hair is a darker brown, but almost the same cut. His eyes were different, in a way I can't understand. And his smile is wider, more comforting and warm. He's taller than Him Just a bit, but it makes a big difference. We're almost the same height. He talks to me. He cheers me up, and laughs with me when I'm better. He's nice, kind, friendly, optimistic, and a lot other complimentary adjectives. Even though he's younger than me, and He's older, he's still better for me. I'm having a debate inside my head about who is more filling of the space I've got in my heart. He is so wonderful, but he is so wonderful to me.
Decision ... After ... I'm so picky when it comes to boys. These two are the first that I've liked in a few years. I don't want to pack away our relationship and my emotions like they don't matter. So, I have decided to love both. Equally, and for different reasons. Even though he has more positive qualities, He is still stuck in my consciousness as if his picture was cemented in the main highway of my memory. I never talk with Him. I don't even know His favorite color. But with him, I joke and smile whenever we pass, and if the opportunity presents itself, he and I talk. Like good friends. I don't know his favorite color either, but at least I know that he likes candy, and he's generous [he gives me candy to cheer me up]. That, I think, just might be more appealing to me. But, I never know.
- Title: Unseen-Obsess-Choice-Decision
- Artist: Jacqal
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Description:
I just wrote this up yesterday because I feel confused if I don't write out my feelings somehow.
it's totally 100% true, too. - Date: 04/14/2009
- Tags: unseen obsess choice decision
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Jacqal - 05/01/2009
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can you help me make a decision? Should I choose Him, or him? He is hott, but His friends tease me. He doesn't like me. i've liked Him for longer, and I feel drawn to Him. It's instinct to stare when He walks by.
But... he is a great friend, and I like his friends, he likes some of my friends, and we're close. I haven't liked him as long, but i'm starting to feel the same reflex of becoming detached from reality whenever I see his face or hear his voice.
can you vote on a decision?
Him or him - Report As Spam