• Graduation, June 4, 2010, 20:00.

    Graduation started about two hours before, standing in a line, killer heels.

    (Same as every other day, pacing back and forth, shifting my embodiment from one foot to the other impatiently. Getting elbows into my side, shoulder, arm, my toes getting stepped on, then getting ignored as if nothing ever happened. I remember the faint uproar of the cafeteria, the sickening smell of the meals. Now that I am free, I am hungry, I am crawling, I am without the basic necessities. But now it's here, Graduation, what I've been waiting for my whole life, and dreading these past few weeks. We all wait, can't wait until I get out of school. School is a safe haven, a meal in the belly, no responsibilities except for homework. That cute high school crush, or that high school romance probably won't last. Your popularity won't matter and you'll look back and think, what the hell was I doing I look like a clown?!!!

    Yeah, they say it lasts forever, they complain, they moan and whine and skip, but enjoy it while it lasts. Asylum doesn't last forever. )

    Now, to get back from my mindless ranting...
    I started walking, a step at a time, to the graduation march. My feet were aching, my partner was picking his nose and flicking it. (Some people never grow up) My cap was itching, it was way too small for my head. My dress gave me a big wedgie but I was afraid to pick it and my eyeliner was melting down my face. I got in, and sat... Listened to five hundred or more names to be called... Saw all my friends... The pregnant one who beat the odds, going to the best University in the state now with her beautiful son and loving hubby. I can't believe she graduated honors sometimes, she was working a job and AP classes/online college courses while being pregnant. My mind was racing, but I sat, shifting positions while people hooted and hollered in the background. Then my name was called, I walked up, almost tripped twice, took my empty case, shook the principle's sweaty, clammy, smelly hand, got a rose and walked off and sat back down. It's very disappointing, that final goodbye, smelling the antiseptic of the main hallways, then smelling the dirt and grime of the student-use bathrooms that the public never see. I walked to the cafeteria, waiting until the counselors sorted through the list and told those who actually got their diplomas congratulations while more than half of the class sat in the corner and goofed off, some crying because they didn't graduate. Then went home.. Not even home, a foster home.

    The state removed me from my mother two weeks before, my sister made false allegations against our mother's boyfriend and we both got taken, which was illegal, since I was older than the age of consent anyway. Well, foster care was kinda bad, now they dumped me out, denied me all payment for colleges and my bills, like they said they would. I am soon to be homeless, I just wish... I could... Go back... To the inviting walls... of my school...