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Twelve long years. It took me twelve long years to finally begin to grasp the goals of the american education system. Twelve years to realize it simply wanted to guide me to being a balanced individual capable of making informed decisions and heading out into the world to take whatever my place may be.
Twelve years of my life essentially wasted on something that should have taken all of ten minutes had they slapped it into me. But no because we are coddled little things I had to learn this the hard way.
I remember, near the last days of my senior year, and I'm still wiping sleep out of my eyes. It's noon, I woke up late with no classes I had that day. I was gonna drop by and tell certain teachers about the positive impact they'd had on my life, despite my apparent lack of interest. I checked to make sure my fly was zipped and that my sandals were still on. I didn't plan to stay, I was going to go get a burger and then head home where I'd finish sleeping before getting up to face another day of slaying internet dragons. Maybe text my girlfriend and pretend I was busy not being a nerd. For her sake.
But that would be later. Those were my plans, I was still wandering the halls as the busy little bees went about their day. A day full of homework I was resigned from. God that was a nice day. I suddenly found myself bumping fists with some buddies and as the time flew by and the halls emptied they returned to their routines while I picked up where I'd left off.
And then.. there she was. That girl. You know who I'm talking about. Ladies, this is that girl you kinda wish you were. She's pretty, she's smart, she's popular, she's got some money but she's still kinda down to earth. She's that girl. Guys? You know who I'm talking about. You've probably peeled your eyes off her backside as she passed you by in those gorgeous and yet oh-so casual sweat pants. You were talking to some of your pals about some wicked cool event you want them to check out and she passes by, bending over to pick up a pencil she'd dropped. Blam-- your mind is gone, you have no idea what you were saying but now you are on your knees praising God for this sight upon which you were blessed to behold.
No, I actually can't hear what she's saying but she's smiling, and I'm staring at her. I'm still waking up, I was asleep maybe thirty minutes ago.
"I said I'm throwing a party and I was wondering if you'd like to come over."
"Wait... me?"
"Yeah, you seem pretty cool and I know some of the guys think you'd fit in."
Twelve years. I waited most of that time to hear her say that. And you know what?
"Sorry, I'm probably busy slaying internet dragons that night. Or day. Or both. I dunno, thanks though."
I kept going. I thought about my girlfriend (we later broke up, but that's another story) and how she'd be uncomfortable about me going (she was SO not invited). I thought about how, for years, all I'd wanted was acceptance.
Twelve years and I just couldn't give any less of a s**t. Had I known that's what it would take to get an invite...
Well I suppose that's why things happen the way they do.
- Title: I gave up
- Artist: Nukeleo
- Description: Woops, I'd written this up to spite myself and do a flashback and then forgot to post it. Here's number 3, number 4 likely to follow due to latency.
- Date: 04/22/2010
- Tags: gaveup givingup hopeless hatehighschool popularkids
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