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I was huddled in the corner, with no where else to run, i shut my eyes tight, i felt it coming near. I was shaking in fear, "what should i do" i whispered. As I sat there i began to think about how gullible I have been. I felt a sharp pain in my head and that was it, "what just happened?"
This was a beautiful town, the air is nice. "hello, could you point me to the direction of this apartment?" i asked. There i finally was, the place i would be living at for awhile i was nervous. As i checked in i felt like a little kid, all jumpy and excited. Well here i am, i didn't know what to do, i have never been on my own before, my parents have always been there for me. After awhile i decided to walk around and meet other people on the same floor as me.
"Hello, i'm nathan whats your name" i asked
"Hello, im dea, i'm sure you will leave soon"
"umm, why do you say that?" i asked
I got no response, i was a bit confused, but i decided to talk to other people. They all said the same thing..
I was hungry, so i decided to go out, i felt odd, i felt kinda sick so i went to the drug store to get some medicine. I felt a sharp pain in my head "DONT GO IN THERE" i suddenly heard. I got scared, and the pain wouldn't go away so i ignored the voice and went in. I have got what i needed and decided to go back without my food. As i sat there trying to forget what just happened, i realized i haven't eaten yet it was to late to go out, so i went to bed hungry.
My eyes flashed open and i'm glad i am in my bed, the worst nightmare had me sweating. In my nightmare i was chased into a corner by the scariest thing, that thing caught me and clawed at me, i began bleeding badly in that nightmare. As i began to recover, my legs felt wet, "did i pee myself?" i wondered as i uncovered my blanket, a pile of blood had stained my sheets....
- by Hinoko Sabishii |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/31/2014 |
- Skip
Comments (1 Comments)
- Tohsht - 03/16/2014
- Overall, I think it has a good start. I would definitely go through and correct grammar/punctuation mistakes. I think it could use more sensory details. I would put more descriptive sentences to make it even more realistic. The scene in which the character goes to visit people on the same floor, I would add how he felt or how the area looked. Good job, though! c:
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