• Did You Hear ? She Made The Playboy Cry !

    Chapter Thirteen: No !

    Angelina P.O.V


    I blinked awake, there was a golden light glowing into the room. I opened the eyes and the first thing I saw was my ring. The one Ayden had given me. I stretched and my hand hit something fleshy. I looked over and saw Zaine sleeping next to me. I looked around the room. Wait, this wasn't my room.

    I clutched the sheets to my naked chest. No, no, no. I hadn’t... we hadn’t... had we? I peaked and saw Zaine was naked too. NO! I felt sick, silent tears rolled down my face. What had I done, I’d betrayed Ayden, and my devotion to him. I was just like any other slut. I didn’t deserve him anymore.

    I sat up and cried. Cried hard. I felt Zaine wake up and put his arms around me. I cried harder. I shoved him off and turned my back on him. I felt him get out the bed. A few seconds later he came round to kneel in front of me. I noticed he’d thrown on some boxers and a t-shirt.

    “What’s wrong Angel?” He asked worriedly.

    I ignored him and rocked back and forth, my thoughts wondering to the blade I had in my bathroom at home. I gently stood up the sheets still wrapped around me. For some reason I felt self conscious even though Zaine had seen it all last night. I picked my clothes up off the floor and headed to the bathroom.

    I got changed and splashed my face with water. When I came out, Zaine was waiting right by the door for me. He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

    “What’s wrong Angel, did I hurt you?”

    “No, I’m fine...I had a bad dream.” I said lamely.

    “No, that’s not it, I knew I shouldn’t have... it’s too soon...we should have-no I-“

    “Its fine Ayden seriously I’m okay, it wasn’t my first time don’t worry.”

    He looked at me shocked “My name’s Zaine.” He whispered.

    I stood there shocked, had I really called him Ayden. I thought over and realized I had. I watched him, his hurt face. I watched it crumble as he turned from me.

    “I’ll go...breakfast.” I heard him mumble before he left the room.

    I was about to call after him, his proper name, but I could use this as my chance to escape. I edged over to his window. It opened outwards. I looked down, it was quiet a drop. I flung myself out the window. Landing on my feet but buckling under the pressure, and ended up rolling into a bush. I stood up dusting myself off before running away from the house.

    I ran to the nearest gas station before calling a taxi. I could have called Stephanie, but she would have asked questions. Why are you in the same clothes as last night? Why are you here? What happened? Blah, blah, blah etc. I wasn’t in the mood for it.

    I slammed into my house and the first thing I did was reach for my blade. I held it against my arm, and cut deep. I actually cried with the pain. But the pain I could deal with if it meant I could still be with Ayden when it was all over.

    Soon, soon I’ll be with Ayden. That was the plan anyway. So what’s stopping me from doing it now? From taking my life, no-one could stop me why didn’t I just do it now? It was because something was holding me here, now didn’t feel like the right time, but I could feel the time coming. It was close.

    I cleaned off the blade and my wrist. I think I cut too deep the blood wouldn’t stop pouring out. I held my arm in the air, above my ear and eventually the flow slowed down. I wrapped it up. But, it didn’t feel right, I took the bandages off, I had to see the damage remind myself that what I’d done was wrong. It should have never happened. No matter how much I wanted it too, or how good it was. Never should have happened. It will never happen again.

    Zaine P.O.V


    I could feel the sun blazing onto my face. Quiet sobs were making themselves aware to my ears. I opened my eyes to see Angelina, sitting up crying. I panicked. What had happened? What was wrong? I wrapped my arms around her comforting her. Was it something I had done?

    She shoved me off and turned her back on me. I take it I’d done something. What was wrong that had made my Angel cry? I scrambled out the bed and threw on some clean boxers and a t-shirt. I walked round the bed and kneeled in front of her, my hands resting on her knees.

    “What’s wrong Angel?” I asked worriedly.

    She ignored me and rocked back and forth; she gently eased away from me and stood up. The sheets covered her beautiful body; the beauty spot on her collarbone, her thigh. The way her stomach dipped inwards. The tiny curly hair she had on the back of her neck. She picked up her clothes and got changed in the bathroom.

    I stayed outside, listening to see if she was going to hurt herself again. She burst out the bathroom surprising me. I grabbed hold of her arm and spun her around to face me.

    “What’s wrong Angel, did I hurt you?” I asked concerned. Why wouldn’t she tell me?

    “No, I’m fine...I had a bad dream.” She said lamely.

    “No, that’s not it, I knew I shouldn’t have...it’s too soon...we should have-no I-“

    I half got out. We shouldn’t. No, I shouldn’t have let it go so far, we shouldn’t have had s*x. I could see that now, she wasn’t ready; I felt like I’d taken advantage of her, I felt sick.

    “Its fine Ayden seriously I’m okay, it wasn’t my first time don’t worry.”

    I took a step back shocked, hurt “My name’s Zaine.” I whispered not knowing what else to say, she was obviously remembering her EX, how he done it. Was he better was that why she was crying?

    I watched her expression turn into shock, she just stood there realizing what she’d just done. I knew my face was betraying me so I turned to go...anywhere.

    “I’ll go...breakfast.” I mumbled before leaving the room. I know it didn’t make sense to me either.

    I went downstairs into the kitchen. I got a glass of orange juice, and sat in the front room, in front of the T.V. I heard a soft bump. I looked out the window and saw Angelina racing away from my house. I sighed and turned to the T.V I tried to hold them back but the tears came. What a d**k, I’m sitting here crying because the girl I love doesn’t love me back.

    I wiped my eyes. I was pathetic. I should grow some balls be more like a man. But it hurt, knowing that the one person I loved more than anything thinks about her dead ex boyfriend as were having s*x. I flipped open my phone and dialed a number.

    “I need your help, meet me at our spot in 1 hour.”

    Josh P.O.V

    I felt bad. Really bad. Seeing Zaine sitting here in front of me, torn up about this girl. Somehow, it didn’t feel right. I thought she liked him back, everyone thought that. But we didn’t know her. Neither did Zaine by the looks of it. I’ve only seen him cry once before and that was over Mason. The day we found out she’d killed herself. And he didn’t even cry properly just a few tears. No this was full out crying.

    “Have you talked to her?” I whispered.

    “Nah, she left so quickly.” He sounded dead.

    My gaze flicked up to him suspicious. “Dude, didn’t you even go to her house to check she made it home.”

    He looked up at me surprised “No.”

    “Are you nuts, didn’t you just hear what you told me. She cuts herself man, think about what she’d do in a house by herself. Why the f*ck are we sitting here hurry the f*ck up.”

    We jumped up and ran to his car. I fastened my seat belt as we drove towards her house. The house had a cold vibe around it, it didn’t feel right. I felt Zaine hold back. Not wanting to see the body, I thought. I crept forward. Turning the handle of the door, it was open. I flung the door open and tiptoed in. It was oddly silent.

    I crept past the front room. Empty. The downstairs bathroom. Empty. The kitchen. Empty. Up the stairs, I could feel Zaine right behind me his breath caught in his throat. A bedroom. Empty. Another bedroom, which had to be hers. Empty. There was a door on the other side of the room. I froze, knowing we were going to find her dead, passed out on the bathroom floor.

    Zaine barged past me, and burst into the bathroom. There was a sharp high pitched scream which was cut off all of a sudden. I ran across the room and into the bathroom. Angelina stood there shocked. Her big brown eyes staring up at us bewildered. She looked like a startled fawn, like Bambi.

    “What are you guys doing here?” She whispered.

    I glanced around the room; I saw a bloody blade in the sink. I glanced down to her wrist but it was hidden behind her back, she knew she’d been caught. I walked over to the sink and picked up the blade. I held it up for everyone to see, not saying a word.

    “Show me.” Zaine whispered.

    I could see how much it hurt him; it probably felt like his worst nightmare. I remember how broke he sounded on the phone when he found out Mason had been cutting herself, this probably bought up those bad memories. How could Angelina do that to him, didn’t she know.

    “Why?” He asked.

    She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let go. I saw tears appear in her eyes. She glanced at me, Zaine followed her gaze. I got the picture, they wanted to be alone...and do what couples do. I smirked.

    “Later, man I’ll see you at the coffee shop, in an hour.” I glanced at Angelina “Or two." I added.

    I felt his disapproving look at my blatant nonchalance. I shrugged and headed out. I phoned Matt and Henry and we all met up at the coffee house. I ordered a coffee waiting for them. I explained the situation to them; they listened and frowned when I told them about how we found Angelina. I put my hand in my pocket to get my wallet.

    That’s when I realized I still had Angelina’s blade. I threw it in the rubbish on the way out. She wouldn’t need that anymore. Zaine would deal with her, sort it all out.

    Angelina P.O.V


    “I’m sorry Zaine.” I whispered, once I heard the front door slam, knowing that meant Josh had left.

    “Angel, don’t you know how much it hurts me to see you doing this to yourself, why’d you do it?” He asked.

    I looked down at the floor before answering him “Because, I made a vow, to Ayden that I’d never sleep with anyone else, ever, until we were together again. And I broke it so easily, he hasn’t even been dead a year but yet I’m sleeping around like some random slut, what would he think? Would he still want me?” I broke off.

    “Angel, you can’t think that Ayden would prefer you hurting yourself, than to be with someone else, someone who will look after you, look out for you. And I’m going to look out for you, I promise. He would be disappointed with what you’re doing.”

    “I know, I know but I can’t stop I need this.” I begged. I looked him in the face, my hands clasped in front of me like I was praying - begging.

    Zaine walked over to me and hugged me. It felt nice, routine, I found myself pushing up against him, wanting him to hold me tighter. I started to think bad thoughts. Like what would happen if I leaned up and kissed him. My heart rate picked up. Is that what Ayden would really want, for me to be happy with someone else?

    With Zaine, I could be happy. I realized that now, I had feelings for him, feelings that were more than friendship. Otherwise why would I have had s*x with him yesterday, I wasn’t under the influence, I was me Angelina, and he was him Zaine. Two miserable people enjoying something special. I loved him.

    I pulled away from him, the shock of hearing myself think those words. I started hitting his chest, furious that the tears wouldn’t come; my body wasn’t having the right reactions. I reached out to hit him again, but I found myself pulling him closer. My lips meshing with his. I pushed him and his back hit the wall. I kissed him again; I could tell he was shocked by my reaction.

    He gripped his arms around my waist tightly, it was different from before, he was being less gentle with me. I tugged at the bottom of his t-shirt and he lifted his hands above his head, helping me pull it off. I kissed his chest up to his neck to his sweet spot. Giving him a hickey.

    He picked me up and threw me on the counter, my head banging lightly on the wall, but I didn’t care. I wanted this. Zaine was right; Ayden would have wanted me to be happy, so here I was, being happy. Zaine’s tongue roamed my mouth, and I pressed my body against him, wanting to get closer. To mesh our bodies together, to form a lattice with him.

    He worked on giving me a hickey on the other side on my neck, whilst my hands worked on his trousers. I could feel the cold tiles on my back, I shivered, and it sent shocks through me and into Zaine. I could feel him, without saying it I could feel the love pouring off him. The sensitivity in each touch, kiss, noise and movement. It was real for the both of us. As real as it would ever get.

    ******************************


    “Are you hungry?” He whispered, a few hours later.

    We were cuddled up in my bed; my laptop was on in the background playing music quietly. It was nice, having his arms around me, and not feeling bad.

    “No, I’m going sleep, you should too.” I murmured.

    I rolled over in his arms, so we were chest to chest. I kissed him, before slumping back in the pillows. I drifted off to sleep.

    I woke up on the beach. I looked around; it was the same beach I used to go with Ayden. I ran down the shore trying to find the little hut we used to hide in when it rained. I saw a glow and ran towards it. What was it?

    A boy stepped out of the hut. I looked up panting hard. It was Ayden. I ran up to him hugging him. He spun me around in a circle before placing me on my feet. We walked in silence hand in hand to our spot. I sat down next to him. I turned to him, he was smiling.

    “I’m proud of you Angel.” he said.

    “Why?” I asked.

    “You were finally able to move on, get on with your life get over me.”

    I smiled at him, tears welling in my eyes “You’re not mad?”

    “Of course not silly, I’m more mad that you think, cutting yourself is better than being with someone else being close to them.”

    I hugged him, burrowing my face in his shoulder. “Oh Ayden I’m so sorry.”

    “Don’t be Zaine’s a good guy he’ll take care of you.”

    His voice sounded echo-y; I opened my eyes to see him fading. His voice buzzing in and out.

    “You’re finally ready to let go of me. I love you, be happy.” he whispered before he disappeared.

    I looked around the beach and I saw a red balloon. Red was Ayden’s favorite color I knew what I had to do. I untied the balloon from the stone that was holding it to the beach. I held it by the string. I looked up in the air.

    “I’ll never forget you.” I whispered.

    I let go of the balloon and watched it float away, taking with it the guilt I felt for loving Zaine. I heard someone coming up from behind me. I spun around and saw Zaine. I ran towards him stumbling on the stones, we both laughed. He pulled me into a kiss.

    “I love you.” I whispered.

    “I love you too.”

    I woke up and I felt like a massive weight had been taken off my shoulders, I felt happier than I had in a long time. I sat up and saw Zaine sleeping dreamily beside me. I kissed his cheek softly before laying down to watch him sleep. He looked so cute, like a model. He murmured in his sleep, I grinned. His eyes gently flopped open.

    “Hey.” I whispered.

    “Hey.”

    ******************************


    It was late about 1am. The house was empty; Zaine had gone home to see his mum and sister. I was in the kitchen , making myself some bread an jam, earlier when I’d been watching 2012 I felt peckish, now the film was over I had nothing to distract me so I was gonna pig out. I heard the door rattling. It went quiet and I heard it again, it sounded like someone trying to break in.

    I turned the kitchen light off, waiting for the person to try attack me, I’d stab ‘em. My heart was thumping loudly, blood and adrenaline rushing through my veins. I edged towards the door, taking each step slowly, analyzing the distance from myself and the kitchen door. Gripping the knife in my hand. I didn’t notice the dining chair that was in the way, my foot caught it and I went crashing forwards.

    It all happened in slow motion, I saw the ground coming closer, heard the scream leave my mouth, I stuck my hands out to break my fall, not realizing I was pointing the blade upwards, towards me. I felt the knife pierce my gut; I heard the fabric of my clothing tear, the sound of my skin slash open, the intake of breath that was cut short. I rolled over onto my back, and saw it sticking out the front of me. I was gasping for my life, my lungs were closing up I couldn’t breathe.

    It felt like I was a fish out of water. Images kept flashing threw my head good ones and bad ones. Zaine, Ayden, Stephanie, my dad, Josh. I don’t wanna die. The thought came so suddenly I knew it was true, I wasn’t ready yet. The light was flicked on and someone came running in. I saw the blood seeping through my clothes, onto the floor.

    “Angelina, Angelina, stay with me now.”

    I could feel my heart slowing down, feel myself taking my last few breathes; I felt the blood leaving my lips, I felt myself losing the ability to move, I felt my throat closing up, my eyes lolling back in my head. I felt my heart stop beating. I heard myself draw in my last breath.

    I felt myself die....