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Beep. Beep. BEEP. Jocelyn sat up on the stiff mattress as the beeping grew louder. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, not bothering to reach over to switch off the alarm clock. It had been broken since she arrived at this godforsaken place, not ceasing to sound its annoying proclamation. She stood, and exhaled deeply again. It would be another hot day in the nameless city, she could tell by the way the liquid in the air hit the back of her neck. The crimson sun was halfway in the air, glaring at her as if she had done something wrong.
Jocelyn slipped on her worn shoes, walking past the mirror hanging crookedly in the hallway without looking into it. The shame on her face would be too great, the wrinkles from sleepless nights screaming out at her. She had learned many times ago not to stare at her reflection. Her mouth was dry as she trailed toward the stairs, putting one foot in front of the other cautiously, as if she were in pain. She continued past the broken sink, the only thing in the kitchen, going out the door to stare idly across the empty street. Light poured from a deep pit, and the sound of laughter echoed. An all too familiar pain rose in Jocelyn's chest. The same regret prodded at her, questioning her, asking her "why?"
She turned away from the light, as she had done so many years ago, and stared in a different direction. Left, then right she looked. Houses were out of the question, as were any form of human company. It was always the same, every day. Wake up, go outside, go back in, go to sleep. She had stopped trying to make this place pleasant a long time ago. The ground was incapable of growing anything, not that she had any seeds. The cabin she "lived" in always went back to its original black, no matter how many times she attempted to paint over the ugly color. The sink and well were dry, not producing anything that could possibly cool herself down in the intense heat.
She couldn't be sure how many days she had been here. Always the red sun clung to the middle of the sky, never retreating or tiring of being there. She closed her eyes, wishing for nothing but relief. Kind hands, a drop of water, even a breeze. But no, this is what she deserved. She sank to the dirt ground, a sob strangling her as it all came back to her. The lying. The stealing. The gossiping. If only she had known…
But she had known. She'd known since she was a little girl that this is what would happen. She didn't listen. Again the realization came crashing down on her, and the pain and weight returned ten times stronger. "Thy will be done." He'd said when He'd cast her away with hurting eyes. Tears burned in the backs of her eyes. Of course, she couldn't cry. Only sob brokenly without tears.
For she was in Hell, and she could never get out.
- Title: Knowing
- Artist: Jess369
- Description: Inspiration from the sermon my church gave today...It's been in my head all day, so I had to get it out.
- Date: 04/18/2010
- Tags: knowing
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Durotos - 10/05/2011
- Interesting. Is there any more to this? I loved your descriptions of the run down house, the girl's despair. I want to know what happened, though. smile
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