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Chapter 1: The Date.
It was a bad night for the both of us as we sat in the car, trying not to look at each other as he drove me home. The rain poured down no harder than tonight then ever. No one was seen on the streets this late and only a few cars past us. I looked down at my outfit before sneeking a peek out of the corner of my eye. He stood there with a weird expression on his face as if he was trying to figure out what to say. "Well tonight was different..." I whispered. It was different, not only because we had a fight but yet that we were so close to kissing to. "You don't have to tell anyone... it wasn't as if it was a night to remember..." He muttered through his perfectly pearl white teeth. "Well I'll always remember tonight." I said with a little smile. Kyle sighed heavily, "You do know I like you right?" He asked, the car to a stop now. I nodded, knowing if I talked I would only whisper.
The car started to go after awhile. Silent once again until he whispered one question that I probably would regret answering, "Do you like me?" With a small little voice, taking all my strenght to answer. "Always have." I whispered. The car taking a stop outside my house and Kyle turned toward me. Staring at me as I stared at my feet on the floor board, holding my ''Take home" soda. Cricket's chirped as the car turned off. I turned to look at him only to notice my parent's staring through the blinds. "We should head inside. My parent's are waiting and you can stay for a bit." I said gulping it back but knowing we had to talk about this. He knodded and opened his door, walking over to open up my door. I smiled and got out, walking beside him toward the front door.
The white door never seemed so far off as it did tonight. The rain still pouring and us both having no umbrella which made us laugh a little. We all know door knobs seem so silent right? Well not tonight. Other than the suffled footsteps we made, the door knob was the loudest thing within that creepy silent dark wet night. I stepped out of the pouring rain, a smile to hid my thoughts and walked into the dry living room. My hair frizzy now thanks to the rain. "Hey mom. Me and Kyle will be up in my room okay? Thanks." My mom hardly ever payed attention to who I took upstairs, It was only my father that was worried and didn't allow anyone but girls up into my room. Thankfully he was asleep at the momment. Me and Kyle snuck up the wooden stair case toward my room. The snoring came heavily from behind a wooden door that had a sign saying "Don't enter, my shows on." nailed to the top center of it. I rolled my eyes and opened the door to my room to let him in.
It felt good to be back in my room, only because the blue emerging within the room made the mood more softer. I would be needing that if we were going to talk about what had happen during that date. The snoring now grew quieter as the door shut. "Hold on." I said going over to my dresser and grabbing up my pj's and headed to my bathroom to change. With my luck, we would be here all night talking. I closed the door softly behind me. Mouthing insults and cursing at my self for what I had let happen, as I quickly got dressed.
- by Chikan Milk |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/22/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: It's complacated [story]
- Artist: Chikan Milk
- Description: Okay so I probably mis spelled complacated wrong idk my lap top's not telling me atm. Anyways This is a story bout drama, liar's, back stabbers, ect. Please enjoy &&please tell me what you think I need to improve on this
- Date: 12/22/2009
- Tags: complacated story
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Comments (7 Comments)
- lollipopsy - 04/19/2012
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Few tips:
A plural never requires an apostrophe, dear. Never ever.
Dialogue is generally formatted with breaks between different character's speech.
While fragments can be used for reasons of poeticism, they are somewhat overused here.
Don't change tenses. - Report As Spam
- FoxyXNinja - 08/10/2011
- Nice. Real suspenseful.
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- awesome4L4fe - 05/18/2011
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what happens next?
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- MandaPanda32 - 02/06/2011
- what happens next!?!
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- cookiegurl15 - 02/01/2011
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i really liked it i want to know wat happens next and i don't care that u spelled complicated wrong
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- Osaka Kaicho - 12/21/2010
- Great story, I love it very much!
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- Le Petit Moineau - 12/15/2010
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Have you continued?? I agree with Some King Guy, but I think it's good smile
Next time, (Just a tip), Maybe you should write it out on Microsoft Word, to make sure there's no spelling mistakes, and then you can experiment with grammar.
Otherwise, Really good, continue with it, and really good expression.
deepbluesparrow - Report As Spam