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:: PROLOGUE:: The day before, in the cafeteria, she was sitting at a table with only J.D. with her. She's trying to eat her food, unsuccessfully, for other pestering students found joy in throwing apples at her. They throw their last that hits her in the back of the head, and her anger boils over. Her head is still bowed over her food, but she still glances up at J.D. He knew what she was going to do and whispers, "Don't."
She replies, "I must. I have remained far longer than I should have, and I can't stay any longer. People are getting suspicious."
She picked up one of the apples they had thrown and threw it back at them. It hit one the boys that had been throwing the apples in the back of his head. He rose from his seat and said, "C'mon, let's go!" He approached her with a metal fork and lunged. She stood and dodged the attack. His arm flew past her face. She grabbed his arm, twisted it, forcing his body to go in the same direction in fear of pain, and broke his arm. He cried out and she pushed him to the floor.
She pulled her long black hair out of her face and picked up her bag. She said her goodbyes to J.D. and headed towards the cafeteria doors, her charcoal gunner waving behind her.
On her way out, she passed his table. With him and his friends. He actually took the time to look up from his food at her and ask, "What happened to you?"
"Angels fall sometimes, Andrew. And when they do, they fall hard." At that, she left.
::STORY:: The next day, she sat at her table, alone. Andrew and his friends walked over to her table and sat down without asking permission. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and started packing her books into her bag.
"Wait, we need to talk to you." He actually wanted to talk to her. Surprising.
"Well, I don't feel like talking," she proceeded to pack her belongings.
"Please," he begged.
"What do you want?" She growled.
"What happened to you yesterday?"
"Nothing. Besides, even if I felt like talking to you people, you'd never give a damn anyway, so why should I?" She sounded frustrated.
"Why would you think that?" Andrew was confused.
She laughed a hysterical, evil sounding laugh. "You want to know why I know you wouldn't give a damn about it?! Fine! Hold on to your seats, ladies and gentlemen, 'cause this is gonna be a wild ride! I'm going to Hell anyway, so why does it matter?!"
Andrew said, "No you're not. Don't say you are, you're a good girl. You're not gonna go there."
She glared at him and whispered in a cruel voice. "YES, I am, Andrew. I stood before God on His throne with the Book of the Lamb beside me. My name wasn't written anywhere in the Book. He judged me. He said that I had been good, that I did good deeds, up until that point. He understood why I did what I did, but He also said I wouldn't live in Heaven for it. Though, He said it wasn't my time, so he let me live. But I wouldn't get to live the same life I did."
He was befuddled. She sighed at his incompetance.
"Okay, listen," she said. "Do you remember when you kicked me out of the group? Of course not. I was kicked out on the first Friday of our freshman year. Do you remember when I changed? No. That was on the following Monday. This was not because I dyed my hair, nor a make-over, nor because I decided to go Emo. No. It's because I went through a Transition. And they only occur when you die."
"What do you mean?" He whispered.
She laughed cruelly again. "Of course you don't understand." Her voice choked up, she spoke slowly in a voice just above a whisper, and tears welled behind her eyes. "When you guys kicked me out, I lost everything I loved. I lost my world, and what is a person without their world? Do you know what I did when I got home that day? I went to my room and I wrote a letter addressed to you. It's still there if you want it, go ahead. Anyway, after I finished the letter, I walked out to my dad's barn, and I found a wire. I tied one end to the beams above and the other in a loop. I hung myself because I lost everything. Do you know what it's like to lose everyone you love? NO. Do you know what it's like to CRY yourself to sleep EVERY NIGHT for FOUR years? NO."
"A Transition is the change from life to death in which you undergo horrible agony for months. Michael, do you know why J.D. wouldn't come home until late at night and not even come home sometimes? Because he would help me. And he did for those months that I went through that pain. And he was the only one that stayed with me during that time."
"That Monday, when we returned to school, nobody noticed my changes. Of course, you don't start looking different until several weeks afterwards --- it's a slow change spaced out --- but your attitude and things change. Still, nobody noticed. Not even the scar that goes 'round my neck. Nobody did, except J.D."
"When you guys kicked me out, you never even bothered to ask if the rumors were true. That if I had actually said all those bad things about you. Do you actually think I would seriously say those kind of things? No. You kicked me out instead."
"That, Andrew, is how I know you would never give a damn about what happens!"
William just stared at her and said, "Death isn't that bad."
She moved over to him, grabbed him by his collar, and slammed him on the table. “You have never died, so don’t you DARE say it isn’t that bad!!! Do YOU know what it’s like to live with nobody there to tell you everything is gonna be okay?! Do YOU know what it’s like to have bones repeatedly crack, break, and rip through your flesh EVERY DAY!? NO!!! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE, SO DO NOT TELL ME IT’S NOT THAT BAD!!!” She grabbed her stuff and started to walk away.
Andrew asked, "Jessica, what happened to you?"
Jessica looked back at him and whispered in a softer tone, "The Jessica you knew died four years ago..."
She turned and left.
- by Belrock of Morgoth |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 05/17/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Change
- Artist: Belrock of Morgoth
- Description: I get chills whenever I write this...
- Date: 05/17/2009
- Tags: changes
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