• Tick Muffin, the Story Behind the Hero
    By Cole. Mellows

    Tick Muffin, who is Tick Muffin? A hero, inventor, chef, son, egg owner, German, Emperor of China. This is his story.

    Tick was German, but grew up in a small house in Rainy River, Ontario. He was the oldest of the three Muffin children and was considered the brightest. Life was hard for the Muffin children; they lived with their grandparents, Hanz and Grangflugle, because their parents were in Japan. They were in Japan because they were tag team sumo wrestlers. It was tough for Tick, living without his parents.

    It was this lonely life that lead Tick to became one of the greatest inventors in history. On Tick’s 12th birthday he was given a toolbox, because of his will to invent. So one day Tick and Captain Spud, Tick’s best friend, were walking along when they saw the remains of a spaceship that had crashed into the ground. Tick said, “Let’s make a robot”.
    “Great idea Tick!” said Spud. So it began. Tick and Captain Spud began work on a robot and when it was complete Spitfire was the best robot ever.

    After his magnificent creation of Spitfire, Tick had a new interest, sports. So he decided to use the money that he was given for sharing his robot plans with NASA, to purchase ESPN a sport broadcasting station. Now Tick was famous, but his fame hadn’t finished growing.


    One day while he was watching a football game between Green Bay and the Colts, he saw a commercial about chicken farming, and immediately knew what he was going to do next. So the next day he went down to Wisconsin, and after watching a Packers game, bought a chicken farm. “This was great,” thought Tick. “I got this farm at a great price and there is only one problem. NO CHICKENS!” screamed Tick.
    So that evening Tick went to LivestockMart, but there was only chicken, so he decided to buy it. That night the chicken laid an egg so big it would take 12 pages to say all the bigs. So the owner of the award of Biggest egg ever was another thing to add to all the accomplishments Tick had.
    On Tick’s 17th birthday he decided he wanted to got Oxford Cooking College so he could get his culinary arts degree. While attending OCC he was challenged to a Cook off with the current Iron Chef Taka Luke. Tick won of course and was named Iron Chef, which is a title he has defended for 4 years now, with his signature dish Giant Eggs and Bacon.

    On Tick’s 25th birthday Tick was elected Emperor of China for his masterful skill of everything.

    Tick now resides in China as a master chef, inventor, German, son, egg owner, Emperor of China and hero.