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Ich Liebe Dich (see descript)
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It was a dreary summer day. I was sitting in my room on the windowsill watching the rain fall while listening to music. It was a good song, Spring Nicht, by Tokio Hotel. I listened and hummed along to myself until my cell rang. I picked up the remote and turned down the next song as I answered it. It was Jay, my ex, wondering if I would let him give my ticket to his new girlfriend since I probably wouldn't want to go with him. I said no and hung up. I didn't care. It was my money, and I was a big fan of the band. I wasn't giving up my ticket. I didn't care how much he offered me, I was going to that concert.
After a few more hours, I started to get ready to go. It was going to be great. I pulled on a pair of slightly tight, black jeans and a black tank with a fishnet shirt on top. I grabbed a few accessories, my cell and my keys and walked out the door to my ride.
It wasn't the best but it was a ride. My neighbor was going to the concert too and offered me a ride when she found out that me and Jay broke up. It was a thirty minute ride and when we finally found a place to park, it was a twenty minute walk to the building. By the time we got there, I was having a little bit of trouble breathing but I didn't think much of it. I was just a little out of shape and it was a long walk.
After about another hour's wait I showed the security guard my ticket and walked in. It was pretty crowded but since the concert was completely sold out, there would be a lot more people coming soon. When the band first stepped on the stage everyone screamed in approval. Bill's hair was as crazy as always, and the rest of Tokio Hotel looked like they were happy.
They started their first song, Scream. There were a couple of people crowd surfing and I was having a blast listening to the band. After the fifth or sixth song I started feeling a little dizzy, so I tried to get out of the middle of the crowd. As I edged my way to the back of the crowd I saw Jay and a few of his friends. One of them noticed me and they all started laughing.
I was almost crying by the time I got out of the building the pressure in my chest was so bad. The concert had ended and I was walking towards the bus stop since my neighbor had said I would need to find a ride home. As I got to the bus stop, I collapsed onto the bench. I saw a limo drive by with a few girls chasing after it. Then a few boys walked over to the bus stop. My vision was getting blurry so I couldn't see who it was. One of them saw me falling forward and caught me before I hit the cement floor.
'Hey are you okay?'
Those were the last words I heard before I blacked out. They echoed in my head for a while then I heard another voice. Quieter but closer. It sounded like my mother, but it couldn't be. She was dead.
'Ich liebe dich' the voice said. 'Don't forget that, ich liebe dich.'
I opened my eyes. I was laying on a white bed. I was in the hospital. I looked over to my left and sure enough there was an I.V. coming out of my arm. After a few seconds a nurse that was walking by noticed me and quickly ran to get a doctor.
They unhooked the I.V. and other machines around me and after a few minutes of being told that I had blacked out at a bus stop and was brought in by four strange looking boys I was told some bad news. I probably wouldn't live that much longer. I had a terminal illness that hadn't been identified quick enough. I most likely had a two to three weeks at the most. I was free to go home as soon as I was signed out by someone.
My father was out of the country on business so that probably meant I would be here for a few more days. I gave the doctor his cell phone number and he left the room.
After a few minutes a nurse came in and asked if I was feeling well enough to speak with someone. I didn't care so she went back out of the room and let two boys come in. I looked up and saw Bill and Gustav from Tokio Hotel. They explained that the nurse wouldn't let more than two people in and explained that they were walking back to their hotel room when they saw me collapse. They brought me to the hospital and just wanted to make sure I was okay.
I said I was fine and I just had to have someone sign me out. Bill said he would and he went to get the nurse and Gustav followed. They came back a few minutes later and told me to follow them. They brought me to their hotel room and told me to make myself comfortable while they went to a recording session. They said they would be back in a few hours at the most. After they left I walked up the stairs and sat on the roof humming to myself and thinking about what the doctor was saying. After a few hours I walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down. There was a limo parked by the front entrance and a large group of people lined up along the sidewalk. I watched as the limo pulled away. I kept standing on the ledge looking down.
A cool gust of wind blew my hair into my face. I heard my cell ring and pulled it out of my pocket. It was someone franticly speaking in a heavy German accent. I told him to calm down and repeat himself. It was Bill and they were all looking for me. I told them I was on the roof. They said they were going to come up and get me. They were still worried about my condition. He also mentioned something about staying away from the edge of the roof but I didn't pay attention. I was looking at the building across from the one I was standing on. I heard a door open and slam shut and more frantic speaking. I turned around and saw Bill and Tom staring at me and yelling at me in German. As I was turning I felt a pain in my chest and fell forward, towards the boys and landed on my knees.
They ran forward and helped me up. They brought me away from the edge and Bill calmed down. He and Tom were still speaking in German. Tom noticed me frowning and asked me what was wrong. I told them about my condition and they looked worried. I told them I was fine and just wanted some time alone. They exchanged a few words and decided to let me sit on the roof a bit longer. Before they walked out the door Bill whispered something in my ear. As soon as the door closed I walked back over to the edge of the roof. A tear rolled down my cheek and fell to the ground twenty stories below. I closed my eyes and said a small prayer for it to be quick, then let myself fall forward wanting the pain to end. As I fell I whispered to myself what Bill had whispered to me.
"Ich Liebe Dich"
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Title:
Ich Liebe Dich (see descript)
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Artist:
kikotia
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Description:
Caution: includes themes of suicide (sensitive material to some people)
it's a fan-fic... sort of...
I had a... pretty big Tokio Hotel phase... which kind of ended when my friend attempted suicide... I still occasionally listen to Spring Nicht because we were both in German together and she jumped off of a staircase. I wrote this a while ago but am only posting it now.
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Date:
05/01/2009
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Tags:
liebe
dich
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