• Rose knew that she should have told him the truth. She knew that deep down, the Doctor deserved to know, he above all others … but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t let him know, because she knew the Doctor all too well. She knew that he would plague himself about it, and in the end, it would lead to his undoing.

    The Doctor was a caring, compassionate man. Knowing that he had a son that he would never see, never touch, never love, would in fact kill him. So on that windy, cold day, Rose made up a little white lie, thankful that her Doctor didn’t pick up on it.

    Oh and how that day killed her. It was the last time she would ever get to see him. It would be the last time she would see that ruffled hair, his unmade tie and crooked suit, and that wide, heart-stopping smile.

    Even now, she could still remember that day with startling clarity. The shaking of her hand as she reached out to touch her Doctor and the wretched heart-ache when she couldn’t. She could remember the look in his eyes when Rose told him that she loved him, and she could see the tears pool in his eyes as he said her name one last time.

    “Doctor …” His name came out as a strangled gasp, one that Rose had become quite familiar with. Even after five years of separation, she felt a burning hurt every time she pictured his face, and every time she remembered the feel of his hands against hers.

    Jonathan was the only reason she was as sane as she was. Poor Jonathan didn’t know what was going on in the first years of his life. Rose battled with her depression, and won from only sheer force. It took her another year to become her sunny self again, but even then there was something missing in her, something that had made Rose, Rose. Everyone pretended not to noticed, but Jonathan, the poor babe, noted it and he took on his mother’s emotions.

    If Rose was sad, he was sad, if she was happy, he was the most exuberant babe in the World. It was no wonder that he took after his father. He started talking only months after he was born, and by the time that he walking, he had read through Shakespeare’s works, and was starting on the Quantum Theorem.

    He had his father’s hair, his mother’s eyes, and Rose could even see the beginnings of the Doctor’s smile on Jonathan’s face. It was also no wonder that whenever she looked at him, she got a faraway look in her eyes, one that spoke volumes to the little child.

    He asked the omnipotent question when he was five years old. It was a cold day, rainy, and Rose and Jonathan were roasting marshmallows over the fire. He was talking about preschool, and then out of nowhere he said, “Mummy … I talked to my mate Chris about this, and um …” His face scrunched up as he tried to think of the right words to say. “The World … Earth, it feels like its moving.”

    For a moment, everything was silent. Then, the crackling of Rose’s marshmallow hitting the fire broke the silence. Was Jonathan a Time Lord? 'He … He can’t be.' Suddenly, Rose felt very ill at ease.

    “Jonny, are you sure it’s not your imagination?” The words came out choked, but the child seemed not to notice.

    “Mummy, I’m sure. And sometimes I have the weirdest dreams of looking into this … this bright light. It’s like looking at a sun but … it doesn’t hurt. It feels like it’s touching my soul.”

    With sinking clarity, Rose finally knew what she had been secretly dreading since she had first realised that she was carrying a child in her stomach. He was a Time Lord, one without his own T.A.R.D.I.S., and one without his real home.

    “Sweetie-“

    Jonathan didn’t let her finish.

    “Who’s my da?”

    With a sigh, Rose turned her eyes to the fire, and watched as the flames crackled and popped. The five-year-old spent a good five minutes watching the flames dance across her haunted face before he sighed as well.

    “Mum, I-“

    “Shush. Let me think Jon. I don’t-” Her voice tightened at this, and swallowing hard, she continued. “I don’t want to put your father’s name to shame. Now …” Clearing her throat, she turned to face him, a smile on her face. “Your father was brilliant. He was a loner, never really had a home. I met him when I was nineteen, and I was a shop-girl back then.” Jonathan laughed, and Rose smiled in response.

    “That was the day I met your father, the day he saved my life. After that time, he did it countless more, and on much more exotic planets too.” At this, Jonathan’s eyes lit up with surprise.

    “You see … your dad was a Time Lord.”

    And from that night, Rose told every adventure she ever had with the Doctor to Jonathan, and soon the depression that had been eating her away disappeared. It was there, in the sub-consciousness of her thoughts, but telling someone about her Doctor was like a drug. It relaxed and soothed her, made her finally feel at home.

    A year passed by, and time moved on.

    In that year, Jonathan became more and more like his father. He still held his mother’s attitude of constant optimism, and his mother’s love of aliens. Every night you could find him staring up at the stars, and every day you could find him tagging along with his mum when she picked him up after school.

    Rose too, became more like herself. She still dreamt of the Doctor, of him coming back, but she knew that it was out of the question. He had to the universe to traverse, and thousands of unexplored places to find. Rose doubted that he even thought of her any more. She of course, didn’t know that the Doctor did mourn, extensively at that, and she never knew that her room was constantly visited by him.

    She never knew that even though the Doctor travelled, even though he did gain new companions, none of them ever filled the hole that Rose took with her when she was snatched away.

    Likewise, the Doctor never knew her anguish, the sleepless nights that she endured, and the days when she juts didn’t know if she could go on. He never knew that the first year she was in that alternate Earth that she stood out in the backyard, watching the stars, hoping for something that she knew could never be found.

    They both soldiered on though, and both lived their life. This was how Rose found herself taking Jonathan to work on Christmas. Jonathan was off for the holiday, and Rose couldn’t stomach the thought of him leaving all by himself, not on Christmas day. The Child was of course excited to no end that he was finally going to see Torchwood, but Rose was … hesitant. Her job was known to be dangerous, and she knew that in her heart of hearts that if she lost Jonathan as she had lost her Doctor, she wouldn’t be able to ever recover.

    Jonathan’s voice then broke through her melancholy thoughts. “Mum, could I go and see the weapons the aliens used? Please?” Rose laughed, and opened the door for Jonathan to step in.

    Everything would be fine. Jonathan was about to step into one of the safest buildings on planet Earth. Nothing bad could possibly happen … right?