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We ran down the spiraling stairs, grasping the banister tightly to keep from falling head first into the center. We could hear the raven swooping closer, its wings beating the air lazily. Ahead of me I could hear Stasia muttering, trying to piece together a spell. Then she stopped muttering and threw her arms forward casting the spell out in an almost imperceptible shower of sparks. I wanted to yell at her, to tell her to stop it, that magic had got us into this mess; it wouldn’t get us out of it. But before I could my foot missed a step. In the second before I landed every possible future I could have had flashed through my mind.
Then I landed, not in empty space as I had expected but on the stairs which weren’t really stairs anymore. Stasia’s spell had changed the stairs to a slide and we zoomed down bashing into the walls and railing. I pulled her closer and yelled in her ear.
“Turn them back!” She shook her head, eyes wide with fear.
“I can’t! I don’t know how!” She yelled back clutching her charms bag closer as we careened into the rail yet again.
“Then slow us down at least!” I yelled angrily, but she shook her head again. “Do you have any idea how painful hitting the landing will be at these speeds! We’ve at least twelve floors left before we get there!”
“I’m sorry.” She shouted. “But at least we’ve lost the Raven.” I looked around. She was right about that. The Raven was nowhere in sight.
Then I remembered the rope and hook in my bag. I carefully opened it, curling into a ball as we hit the wall again; I pulled out the neatly coiled rope and dug around for the hook. I finally found it with only eight floors left. I tied them together and pulled on a set of leather gloves. Four floors were left
“Hold onto me!” I hollered throwing the hook and praying it caught on the railing. For a second there was only slack and I thought I had missed. Then it caught with a jerk, nearly ripping the rope from my hands.
We were at the second floor and still going much too fast. I gripped the rope tighter ignoring the smoke coming off the gloves. Five feet from the landing the rope ended and we hurtled onto the floor, skidding into the door. I jumped up powered by adrenaline and tore the door open, wincing as my now mostly raw hands touched the door handle. I grabbed Stasia by the strap of her bag and pulled her through the door slamming it closed after her.
I slammed the bolt and turned to see where we were. Stasia was sitting against the wall still dazed from our abrupt stop. I pulled her up by her collar and started down the hallway, headed for the archway at the end. She stumbled along behind me blinking owlishly.
“Come on! Move it!” I urged her to hurry as the Raven flew into the door, causing a booming noise that reverberated down the hallway.
I sprinted through the archway as Stasia sped up behind me and we turned left, seeing a door just ahead I shifted my grip to Stasia’s hand and pulled her down the hallway faster nearly wiping out repeatedly on the marble floors. I tore the door open and dashed out swinging it shut just after Stasia. Then turned and saw that Stasia was already halfway down the front drive.
“No! Not that way!” I shouted. “Here, this way!” I pointed to where the garden we had entered ended in dense woods. Then started running as she turned and began to race back towards me.
I crashed into the woods and paused to look around as she crashed in beside me.
“That way.” She pointed to my left and I started that way without hesitation. Part of being a mage is having a good sense of direction and hers was unquestionable. I bushwhacked my way deeper into the woods until I found my way blocked by an impenetrable tangle of blackberry bushes. I turned around and indicated the bushes with a flourish of my hand to Stasia where she stood panting. She sat down gulping mouthfuls of air.
“Here is a good enough place for a break.” She said. “We’re safe.” Yet another talent of the mage’s apprentice, they can sense danger. Apparently she isn’t as good at that as she is a keeping her directions, she didn’t see this whole mess coming.
“So,” I slouched down beside her. “What went wrong with that spell of yours?”
“Nothing.” She said sullenly, then seeing my expression she defended herself. “The spell was fine, you still got all your limbs right? I just got the location wrong.”
“Ya, right. I’m still never letting you try anything new when your teacher, what’s-his-face, is gone.”
“Umm, Brendan?” She turned to me with a wretched expression on her face.
“Yes, what?”
“I think the Ravens back. I can feel it.” I stared at her for a moment then sighed, stood up and walked into the blackberry bushes until they came up over my head. Then I bent down and crawled in even deeper until they formed a tight mesh over me. I turned to Stasia as she settled in beside me.
“You had better have a way to call your teacher or I will feed you to that bird.” She nodded brightly and started digging in her bag. “Never letting you again.” I muttered shaking my head grimly and inspecting the scratches the bushes had given me.
- Title: The Raven
- Artist: Donutday
- Description: Just another story I wrote. (yes I said another!! Go find my others and read them too!!)
- Date: 10/18/2008
- Tags: raven magic apprentice
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Comments (4 Comments)
- sadeijo - 05/19/2009
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*It deleted the rest of my comment!*
--> Apart from not having a proper ending, twas an awesome story!
Oh and try to vary sentence structure and sentence length (the second one especially to add supense) - Report As Spam
- sadeijo - 05/19/2009
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--> I can picture the spiral staircase and the raven in my mind which is good.
->I'd get rid of a few of the adverbs. They're not all needed and are kind of distracting.
--> I liked your use of first person. It was compelling. I think this piece definitely could have been darker which would have made it more exciting.
-> Perhaps try to avoid dialogue tags as often as possible. Use said/says/replied/asked but refrain from t'others. Apparently tis lazy and tis best to describe the voice instead - Report As Spam
- Harmonious Dischord - 03/21/2009
- Good story!
- Report As Spam