• SEBASTIAN


    Jaden's dead! Jaden's dead! Jaden's dead! Was all I herd in my head as I raced on the highway. I couldn't believe it. My bestfriend, dead.
    Maybe she's joking around.
    No. As much as I wanted to believe just that; I knew that Victoria wouldn't even joke about something like this.
    I knew that Shelby, Victoria, and Victoria's dad needed me. I told the head master of The University that there was a death in the family and I needed to go home right away. Even though that they weren't family- they might as well be- they are the closest to family I have.
    I turned off of Route 26 and headed toward Victoria's house and my old town. Which would be at least another 30 miles.
    I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. Something in the pit of my stomach told me to call Victoria to see what was wrong, but I got too caught up in my studies to do just that simple thing.
    Dammit Sebastian! You idiot! I clenched my teeth together and tried to keep the tears down. I felt neausa. I can't drive if I start crying and then Victoria will think I'm not comming at all.
    Keep yourself together Sebastian! You can cry later; right now Victoria needs you!
    That's right, so I held the tears down until I reached Victoria's house.
    Shelby and Victoria both came rushing out, crying. Victoria through her arms around me and I held her tightly. The tears that threatened me earlier finally made their way down my face.
    "Oh hunny..." I heard Victoria through sobs. She wipped away my tears, and through her arms back around me.
    I looked over at Shelby and held out my one hand and mouthed "come here"
    She came over willinging and took my hand.

    I took a sip of my hot chocolate. It didn't taste any better than the coke Mr. Stevens offered me. I held Victoria in my arms. We all tried watching a movie but I knew that our minds were all on Jaden. I coudn't believe this happened. This shoudln't have happened to him. When I find that drunk, I'll make him feel so guilty for what he did that he will want to die. Tomorrow I'm going down to the County Police Station and I'm gonna have a little talk with him, and when I'm done, he's gonna be so afraid that he's gonna have to sleep with his eyes opened.
    Maybe I should just find a way to give him drugs so he'll die. I smirk at this.
    Right. Then what happens when they find out it was you? Your docter career will be ruiend and Victoria will be in more pain.
    I coudln't argue with this. More pain is the last thing that Victoria needs. She was doing so much bettter. More happier, no more cutting or drugs, and now...I'm afraid.
    No! You can't think like that! Victoria deserves more credit then that! And the voice was right. I was being unfair but I will stay with Victoria 'till the end. Even if that means giving up my docter career.

    VICTORIA

    *Flash Back*

    "Oh Jaden, I'm really going to miss you." I flung my arms around my brother; burrying my face in his chest.
    "I'll miss you too sis," he spoke. "and I'll miss you guys as well." Shelby and Sebastian walked over to us; placing their arms around Jaden, trapping me in the middle.
    "Hey! Hey! Claustraphobic here!" I tried moving my arms away.
    Shelby and Sebastian stepped back, and before I knew it we all started cracking up.
    "Okay, Jaden. You have everything you need?" My dad walked over to Jaden's car, placing Jaden's laptop in the trunk.
    "Yes dad. I have everything. Don't worry 'bout me." Jaden walked over to him giving my dad a hug.
    According to Jaden it would be called a "Manly hug." I smiled at myself when I thought this.
    "You better take good care of my sister, man." I heard Jaden. Probably talking to Sebastian.
    "Don't I always?" Sebastian smiled.
    Before I knew it, Jaden sped off. Heading to college.
    *End of flashback*


    "Jaden watch out! Jaden! Slow down! That car! Drunk driver." I kept running after Jaden in his car, but right when I was about to touch it, I kept finding myself falling further behind. Then, CRASH!
    "NO!"

    SEBASTIAN

    I
    ran into Victoria's room, as did her father. I woke up in a heartbeat when I heard her screaming.
    "What's wrong with her?!" I shouted, panicking. I ran over toward her, craddleing her in my arms.
    "I don't know." Shelby answered, "She just started shouting."
    "Jaden! Why?! Why?! I told you to stop! Why didn't you listen?! Jaden!"
    My heart dropped. This death was haunting her to the bone. This death, it was... affecting her... deeply.
    Come on Sebastian. You're a docter. Fix her! I heard that voice in my head.
    Ha! More easier said then done.
    "Victoria hunny. Wake up, you're dreamig. Darling, Please!" Some doctor I was. I'll admit that I was scared to death.
    Just then, she woke up. But that wasn't the end of the nightmare.
    "Sebastian! He's gone! Jaden's gone! I tried to stop him but he couldn't hear me, I couldn't catch up to him!" Poor Victoria. I looked at Shelby, Mr. Stevens, and back at Victoria.
    "Hunny. It was just a dream. This is not your fault. You couldn't have-"
    "No! No no no no no! I could have saved him! I should have yelled louder!"
    I didn't know what to say. For once, I didn't have an answer, so I just held her in my arms until she cried herself to sleep.
    I
    woke up to a banging in the kitchen. I leaped of the couch and ran to where I heard the sound.
    "Oh, sorry Sebastian. Did I wake you?" Mr. Stevens apoligized; picking up the frying pan he dropped.
    "Oh, no. It's okay." I eyed the frying pan, raising an eyebrow.
    "Thought I would try whipping up some flapjacks. Jaden always-" he stopped mid-sentence; lowing the fryingpan to his side and lowering his head also. I did the same.
    "Hey pops! Boyfriend! Oh! Are you making flapjacks?! Awesome!" Mr. Stephens and I stared at Victoria with shocked.
    Wasn't it only a few hours ago she was blaming herself for Jaden's death and now...? I looked over at Shelby. She just shurgged so I looked back at Victoria. She was looking right at me, smiling. I could then see it. Victoria. She was trying to forget everything. Trying to forget she even had a brother, and tried to think it was normal to have her dad making flapjacks in the morning and having her boyfriend spend the night when he was supposed to be at college working on getting his docter's degree, but I wasn't fooled. She was hiding her depression. And as a doctor in training, I knew that that was not healthy. I had to help Victoria, even if it ment her hating me in the end. All that matters is that she's healthy and happy.
    "Victoria, I need to talk to you."
    "Okay, shoot." She was still smiling.
    I looked over at Shelby and Mr. Stevens then back at that beautiful girl that might no longer be my girlfriend. I could feel the pain of losing her already, but I had to help.
    "Alone."
    "Why alone?" I tried being patient. I could tell she didn't want to hear what I had to say.
    "Uhmm...I'm gonna get the paper." Mr. Stevens set down the pan and headed out the door in his pj's.
    "Yeah, and I'm gonna get dressed. I have work later today." Shelby also left.
    I turned to face Victoria.
    "Babe. Sit down. Please." She glared at me, reluctant at first, but then followed me to the couch. "I need you to listen very carefully." I couldn't bring myself to look at her but I could feel her glaring eyes boring into me. I took a deep breath then begin, "This is not healthy. Trying to forget. Jaden's dea- is no longer with us and you're just gonna have to-"
    "Hmmm...Jaden. Who's Jaden?"
    I shot my head at Victoria. I could feel the tears behind my eyes that wanted to break free from behind the wall that blocked them. I grabbed her hand and stared into her eyes. "He's your brother, hun. Please don't do this."
    "Listen, Sebastian. I just wanna forget." Sigh. "I don't want to feel the pain anymore."
    I looked into her eyes for a moment. The tears began escaping. "And I can see in your eyes that you didn't forget and the pain didn't decrease at all. It's not going to and pretending you're happy isn't gonna help. People are gonna need you and they can't have you pretending that you have no idea what they're talking 'bout. And if you don't stop this soon," I had to say this last part, if I didn't...then I'm not helping her at all. "then I'm gonna have to take you to the hospital."
    Before I knew it, I felt a big blow to the side of my cheek. Damn. I should have known that hard strong fist of hers would've punched me.
    She was standing up now, furious, breathing hard, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You wouldn't!"
    I knew something like this would've happen. She was too stubborn and wouldn't accept what I had to say. "You're right. I wont. Only if you stop pretending, but this isn't healthy. Right now Victoria, you need help and I want to be the one to help-"
    "Get out!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, pointing to the front door.
    "Victoria...don't-"
    "Get the f**k out of my house!" I sat up, looking at her.
    "Come here." I tried putting my arms around her.
    "No! Get out now before I explode!"
    Well. That's it then. I coudn't do anything else. I let the tears fall and headed outside, walking past Mr. Stevens.
    "Hey bud. You okay?" He sounded concerened.
    "Yeah, I'm uh...fine. I gotta get back to school." I ran toward my car and sped off before Mr. Stevens could say anymore.
    I'm sorry Victoria. I'm sorry for making it feel like I'm against you, but I'm not. I'm sorry for what I said because it's the truth. I just wanna be the one you talk to. Those are the words I should've told her, but it was too late. I wouldn't be getting a call from her any time soon.

    Victoria


    "Victoria!" I woke up to my father's voice and his fist pounding on my white door. "It's time to get up for school!" After no more of my father's noise continued, I hopped out of bed and headed over to my closet.
    "Three days." That's right. Three days and still no calls from Sebastian. I haven't called him either because I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to me or not. So I decided if he wanted to talk to me so bad he coud just give my cell phone a call.
    I grabbed a black t-shirt from it's hanger and did the same thing with a pair of tight dark blue jeans.
    After putting some clothes on, I headed downstairs for some breakfast.
    Of course. My father wouldn't be making breakfast. It's just like old times. Make sure Jaden and I was awake and went back to bed and wake up in another hour for work.
    Except this time Jaden isn't around. I poured myself a bowl of frosted flakes.
    Scooping up a spoonful, I realized this is my first time eating breakfast by myself. Of course it would have been like this eventually, except I thought Jaden would still be alive.
    After eating breakfast I headed back to my room. I packed on a bunch of eye liner and eye shadow. This wasn't anywhere new to me I just haven't wore a lot of make-up for a while. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair.
    I tried keeping my tears locked inside as I did this; which I succeded, but I wasn't any less depressed than I was five minutes ago.

    School was a drag. I was still getting looks of pity from others. You think after three days people would stop giving you those looks. I kept my head down, facing the floor of the school. That was a bad idea.
    "Hey! Watch where you're going emo!"
    Great! I thought as I looked up. Ashlynn. The new freshmen. She thinks she's some cool girl who rules the school because she was so popular in eighth grade.
    "Sorry." Out of all the things I wanted to say to her, I had to say sorry?
    "Watch where you're going next time!" Ashlynn never had anything nice to say especially to people who didn't look like her.
    "Get to class Miss Stevens." I hear Mrs. Skears voice behind me.
    Today was begining to get worse and first period didn't even begin yet.
    "Would anyone like to recit their poem?" No one in the classroom spoke or raised their hand. "Victoria,"
    Darn.
    "How about you?" The problem was that this wasn't a question.
    I sat up and began reading,
    Quote:
    "The stars that were once so beautiful with light are now burning out,
    The lightness of the sky is begining to get darker by the second,
    And there I see your corpse on the deserted endless road,
    Oh how I would give anything to bring you back,
    To make the stars and sky,"
    Pause. My eyes began filling up with burning tears of sadness. A big lump began forming in my throat. " bright with hapiness again" That's it. I coudn't say anymore. Tears were already making their way down my face. I threw my paper. Where did it go? I didn't know as I made my escape from the torture chamber. I ran threw the hallway toward the bathrooms.
    As I shut the door behind me, I dreaded ever running in here, because now I was face to face with Ashlynn and her beautiful blonde hair. She began laughing her face evil.
    "Jeez. Who let the wet dog in here." That's it. I couldn't take anymore.
    I grabbed her hair, pulling her toward me and punched her right in the face. She screamed in pain. I kept scratching her face, pulling her hair until I felt two arms holding me back.
    "That's enough Mrs. Stevens." I heard Mrs. Skears.
    "She-she ju-just came out of- no- nowhere and punched me." That was a lie! A big fat f***in' lie! I squirmed in Mrs. Skears arms, trying to give another blow to Ashlynn.
    But when her grip was too tight I screamed, hurting my lungs in the process. I could see blood on my fingernails. Ashlynn's blood from when I was scratching her. No. Not just Ashlynn's blood, but my blood. I didn't know how hard I was scratching her until I saw my fingernails cracked and falling off. I was angry! So angry! I want my brother!
    "I want my brother!" I screamed. And then... I couldn't see anything. Just... darkness.

    "-toria. Victoria." I opened my eyes to stare up into blue worried ones.
    "I knew you wouldn't stay away." I smiled.
    "From you? Of course not. You should know that by now." Sebastian returned my smile. "You know you're gonna be suspended from school for quite amount of time." Both our smiles faded.
    When I looked away from Sebastian, I found myself glancing around my room. "How'd I get here?" Now I was really curious. The last thing I remembered was passing out in Mrs. Skears arms.
    "Your dad brought you home. He called me." Sebastian lookd away.
    "There's something else." I stated.
    "Yes. You're father wants me to find you a therapist." My eyes grew wide!
    "A therapist?!" Sebastian restrained me from getting off my bed.
    "Victoria! You scratched another person;damaging your nails in the process. They might just press charges on you!"
    I smacked Sebastian's arms. "You would just say that!" tears were trailing their way down my face. "I need him Sebastian! I need him more than ever! I would trade my own life; my own soul to have him alive!" I flung my arms around Sebastians neck, connecting my lips with his while staring into his eyes.
    I knew that Sebastian felt my pain. Jaden was a brother to Sebastian just like he was to me.
    "Oh! Victoria!" Sebastian and I turned our heads to my open bedroom door.
    I hopped off the bed, throwing my arms around Shelby.
    "There's a rumor going around that you almost scratched Ashlynn to death! And people heard screaming during classes! Something like 'I want my brother!' Oh Victoria!" We stood there hugging eachother. I couldn't breathe. My tears were suffocating me. I knew my father was pissed, I knew we had a funeral to make up and attend, and I knew that I was suspened from school for god knows how long, and that Ashlynn was sure to press charges. This life was going downhill. Worse than the way everything was before.