• Each day is exactly the same as the last; the only thing that changes is the date. We slowly slip into oblivion, one small step at a time until there is nothing. I know this for a fact, as I know when the world ends. I’ve seen it time and time again. I know pretty much everything there is to know, based solely on the fact that I’ve been here long enough to learn it all.
    I’ve watched empires rise and fall, and I’ve played a part in most of them. I watched Jesus suffer, die and be buried; back then my name was Peter. I was pretty good friends with the guy. I watched Caesar bleed to death on the floor when my name was Brutus. I wasn’t scared when the end of the world came. To tell you the truth, I was waiting for death. It would seem that things could happen to me that would kill a normal man.
    I’ve been stabbed, shot, poisoned, burned, and hanged. Strangely, I survived each instance. I’ve been around longer than anyone else. I’ve seen the start of the world so many times that it has no meaning to me anymore. I thought it was strange, watching compounds build on compounds until it became an organism that could think and act by its own accord.
    I guess you could say I’ve got infinite patience; I would say I’ve got no choice. I’ve played on both sides of each scenario. There is nothing I haven’t done, no tiny, insignificant event that the tendrils of my life haven’t touched in some way.
    Want an example? I was a general in the British army during World War II, and played a huge part in the Battle of Normandy. In a different time around I was an advisor to Hitler himself and eventually helped him triumph over the Allies. I helped Lincoln write the Gettysburg Address; I also was a colonel in Robert E. Lee’s army.
    Don’t believe me? I’m an old friend of yours. You hear my name every day- well, my most common name, ‘cause if you haven’t guessed, I’ve come to have a lot of names over the years. You think I’m some higher power that watches your every move, that has some great plan, when I really don’t. Don’t get me wrong; I probably know everything there is to know about you, but that’s only because we’ve met before.
    The dirty little secret is that I, God, am not really a god at all, but rather, just someone who has been around several times the span of human existence. In fact, I’d rather that you didn’t call me God; I want you to call me Burt. It’s the name I’m currently using.